They put this new guy next to me at work and I guess he’s OK, but he frequently talks to himself and he has one other annoying habit, it’s kinda gross.

The first time I heard it I couldn’t imagine what he was drinking to elicit that type of response, but he would go, “MMMMM, <smack> ah, yeah that’s good.”

Then he did it again the other day, but it was a hundred times worse because I thought maybe he was having sex with this magical drink of his. I was thinking an orgasm was imminent.

Not that a person’s looks has anything to do with being grossed out, (actually I take that back) but in this case, well it kinda goes hand-in-hand with the whole scenario. His body is shaped like the girl on Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, you know the one who turned into a blueberry.

Somebody ended up asking him what he was drinking and it was a $4.50 orange smoothie.