Tupto

So I am driving to work this morning and was still on the two-lane portion of I-70 when I made a lane change from the number two lane (the slow lane) to the number one lane (the fast lane) to let the drivers on who are getting on the highway from the on ramp. I was minding my own business, being a considerate driver, when somebody in a Dodge Colt of all things zipped from the on ramp to the fast lane right in front of me. I was like, OK, whatever.

I continue on my way, still minding my own business, when all of a sudden that person who felt it absolutely necessary to cut across two lanes of traffic, you know, the one in the Dodge Colt, decided she was going to apply her mascara for the next five miles. I was like, OK, whatever. OK, I lied, I wasn’t like, whatever, I was more like, what a friggin idiot. The least she could have done is not do what she did, you know, feel it necessary to cut across traffic, not pay attention to traffic, and put on some makeup while driving. At least she could have done is stay in the slow lane.

So I was driving behind her, I wasn’t too evil, but secretly I was wishing she would have crashed just so I could tell the cops what she was doing when she crashed, but then again maybe the mascara brush would have been stuck in her eye and I wouldn’t have had to say anything. Hee hee

Seriously though, this girl was putting that mascara on for miles, I guess you could say she was keeping me entertained by watching not only the sheer madness of how much she was putting on, but by watching this spectacle unfolding in front of me. I was like, good God woman how much do you need?

As I was driving behind her the highway opened up from two to three lanes, she stayed to the right and I stayed in the middle until the driver in front of me was aghast by what she saw (the girl STILL putting on mascara while driving) and slowed down so I had to go around. I took the opportunity to look over to see the person doing the unspeakable (the thing that gives women drivers a bad name), the one STILL putting on mascara, and it was a younger girl, or she seemed young, maybe she just looked young with all of that makeup, and I was paying attention to where I was driving and not gawking or putting on makeup.